Thought tide

PART 2:  Into the Theatre, Out with a Daughter. Don't scream. Don't shout. Just breathe. Walk a lot during pregnancy. Hemorrhoids? Don't dare constipate! Those nipples, first baby latch—you will call your mother! You know SIM 2 could give way? Jesus! Your hooha could tear—and girl, the sewing back. 😳 My headspace as I approached labor... Reality... Contractions, ever so intense, so close. Let me tell you, Maina—wueh! When they say teach your child the right path, and they will not deviate from it when they grow up ...they were right. The number of times I called God, Jesus, and all His angels. I recall one prenatal check-up—I was a bit body-conscious. My doctor, sensing this, casually told me, " Shyness will disappear at childbirth. " Look, the way I was pacing in the labor room, my  bottom on display🤭 (BTW, what is it with those open gowns at the back?) Mum whispering to Njeri at some point. No one warned me this pain goes to the brain. I had the...

Part 1:  A Journey Through the Unexpected. A huge swimming pool, a wide-flowing river, and at some point, an ocean. I was in all three — no floater, no attempt to stay on the surface, no panic, no sinking... yet I can’t swim. Those were the images from my recurring dreams, slightly over a decade ago.

  So… the Children Who Wanted to Be Managers, How’s That Going? In my first serious job at a local bank, all I remember is my first manager . Sharp-both in dressing and thinking. Only three staff drove to the office: him, his assistant, and one other person. The rest of us? On foot or by matatu. We were the makers; he and his assistant, the checkers. Ooh, must be nice! That title- manager- was prestigious. At my entry interview, Faith from HR asked me, "Where do you see yourself five years from now?" Imagine me, fresh and blunt, saying: “I want to be a mum.” 🙆🏽‍♀️ Who says that in a bank job interview?! 😏 Well, five years later-I was a mum. Kusema na kutenda! 😂 If they had asked me the same question after I landed the graduate clerk position, I’d probably have said: “I want to be a manager.” Because after a few years observing how powerful these fellas were, that became the dream. Some used their power well. Some, of course, abused it. Like the one ...

A couple of years ago, on an evening walk home, this guy walking from the opposite direction stops and asks with genuine concern, "Are you seriously talking and laughing by yourself?" My mind full of responses,    Isn’t this a free country? Ama freedom of speech ni story za Jaba?    Can’t I enjoy my own conversations?    Also...sir, how is this your business? But I simply nodded. He stared at me from head to toe, trying to detect what exactly was off . Fast forward to today. Afternoon. I pass by my bank, hoping to get a short-term loan. I walk up to a lady behind an unnamed desk, not even sure that’s where I needed to be. She was sharply dressed-minimal makeup, perfectly done sisterlocks, glasses completing the corporate slay. Meanwhile, me? In brown boots and a pink fleece jacket...sun shining🌞 I looked...like the weather forecast personally betrayed me😏 In my defence, I left the house early and it was kind of drizzly, but still, who looks like t...

All-Time Question: What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? At seven years old, I believed big buses symbolized power. Ownership wasn’t quite clear to my little mind, but ultimately, I wanted to be a bus driver. That, to me, was the dream. (Quick shoutout to the mathree driver who got me home today cos your playlist,🔥. But kindly, maybe less of the off-road stunts and random overtaking? Life has enough turbulence already. We’re out here trying to get home not looking for stomach ulcers and heart attacks.) Back to dreams. When I was eight, my father took us to the A.S.K. Showground. His main excitement? Grade 1 Friesian cows. Mine? The loud, booming music that filled the air. Honestly, I think it was the first time I heard music that loud and that good. There was this guy behind a "big wired table" (now I know—DJ decks), and he looked like the happiest, most carefree person on earth. Just like that, I dropped my driver ambitions and decided I wanted to be a DJ. Quick ...

I am seated on second last row in a mathree, there is only one vacant seat at the back. A woman who looks to be in her late fifties trying to squeeze her way through. Out of kindness I let her have my seat and instead opt to take the back seat. She takes the seat, expressionless, doesn't look at me, doesn't thank me. Ala!! At the back seat, a lady seated next to her son quickly whispers to me ' that was so kind of you'  I just smile back. So in my quick calculations, she was quick to compensate and throw in a good remark. First cos she could have noticed the unrecognized gesture and second she probably wanted her son to learn a lesson. The lesson here could be based on interpretation😕😁 Very soothing inspiring gospel music by cece winans playing on the background.  Still appalled by the woman's reaction. Don't get me wrong, i don't regret it. Giving her my seat was the the right thing to do. But come on! What happened to being courteous. A simple thank you ...

The Middle Finger, Mandazis & Mayhem: A Chaotic Nairobi Monday Damnit, the pain. Yesterday, I was indoors all morning and afternoon. Decided to try a mandazi recipe. I didn’t bother checking how many pieces the ingredients would make. Outcome: a whole basin of mandazis. 😏😏 Sasa nitazipeleka wapi? 😡 The first ten pieces were heavenly- probably because they were still hot. The rest? Quite hard. Straight up ngumu style. What happened to that softness staying put? Evening rolls in, and I’m on a call with mum-God knows how I enjoy those moments. Lost track of time. At 7:30 p.m., I’m dashing out with Hailey to the salon for her usual hair wash and straightening. It’s a 15-minute walk to our go-to place. Rhoda hadn’t even blow-dried her hair for two minutes before-  blackout. Not to worry (busy consoling myself), KPLC just playing one of their classic pranks. We’ll wait it out. Ten minutes later, it starts to rain. Heavy downpour. Now we’re stuck: no light, wet hair, and cl...

3:41 a.m!!! Rather restless. Frustrated. I was in bed by 10 p.m., physically tired, fully expecting a restful night. So why was I still awake at that ungodly hour? Regrets? Three mugs of coffee during the day. Thirty minutes on TikTok before bed. It was supposed to calm my thoughts, not awaken all my senses. The more I tried to sleep, the more alert my mind became. A friend once advised me to listen to rain sounds on YouTube when struggling to fall asleep. Tried that too. My mind wouldn’t budge. Then my brain decided to pick a fight. Mind: "So… you’re stuck in life?" Excuse me?? Not you, my own brain, bullying me at 3 a.m. Me: "Come on. I feed you daily with positive affirmations and vibes!" Mind: "Still… you're not doing enough." Then it hit me-something someone casually said last Saturday: "You're not comfortable. You're just not aggressive." Okay. Even if that were true… what does aggression even look like? Mi...

Some parenting lessons arrive in soft hugs. Others sneak in during lunch breaks-and missing earrings. In this one, I’m seated in the kitchen corner at 3 p.m., chatting with my colleague over lunch. We’re raising daughters, trying to choose love over lectures. Well... most days. I ask, “Have you noticed that the most privileged kids often end up the most entitled? Biggest complainers? Blaming every mishap on their parents?” She agrees, sharing an example of a certain 30-year-old madame she knows. Apparently, the lady once said her mum ruined her life- as she bit into a hamburger, because she fed her “everything good and bad.” Like, come on!! 😏😏 Maina surely… “God helps those who help themselves”—hence we save for a rainy day. It’s raining now, boss. 😂😂 And yes, we shouldn’t live like ng’ombes and mbuzis , pretending every bill is an ambush-but sasa tutado?? Honestly, if you’re employed and haven’t visited a doctor lately, just take a peek at your payslip and tell me who...

Red roses, dark chocolate, fine 🍷, better still money bouquet. Is it love overrated or just a beautiful thing? Wah!elderly man squeezed next to me, high as a kite, seriously unkempt. Today we 'sue' the guy who introduced 'sambazas', clearly we shall breathe next year😏 Listening to Ghost from patanisho just making a bad situation worse by his sarcastic laugh😂 Decision made, morning cup of tea in the house a no no for me.Funny walking style to the office(if you know you know), very embarrassing!! Two decades ago a dice was cast in my uncle's residence and I landed BM as my valentine date.Strangers though from same home area. We were both just done with high school. Or no, he had cleared a year before i did. So I put some effort in my valentines outfit. Red top,black pants and open high heel. We met outside nandos. Either we had chips from nandos or sonford. I recall chocolate and teddy bear he gifted me. Later and I mean 3 p.m🤭he introduced me to this underground ...