But Money...Why Are You Like This?

So I wanted to write a beautiful love letter in the month of February.

Why not to someone?

Perhaps because with people, I can choose to feel the love or not.
But money love?

I’m not so sure about this one.
It feels one-sided.

Then someone would randomly ask, what is love?
I would sum it up as adoration and consideration.

But you, you stay too short a time.
No sooner are you around than you want to leave.

Why don’t you stay?
You are needed. You are wanted.

Then you would ask, you let me go so fast and so easily.

Truth is...I struggle to let you go.
Every bit of you exiting feels like a piece of me left void.
I let you go not out of ease but out of lack of choice.

Then you would say, why not multiply me so that I stay?

I do not have a clear answer for you now,
But please...stay a while.

Regards,
The one you leave behind😏

Dedication song playing in my head...

Money comes to me easily, money comes to me fast
Money loves my company when money comes at last

While heading home,
my stopover conversation with my friend and colleague circles around this topic quite a bit.

She says, money treats you the same way you treat it.

I’m stuck there, wondering...NO!
Money should initiate the relationship, then I follow.
How can I show care when I don’t have you?

It sounds absurd.

But then she asks, aren’t you taking care of your basic needs?

So how much is “much”?
How little is “little”?

Fair enough, little or much is relative.
But I promise you, I am operating on little...and let’s not argue about that.

Then she says,
If you board a matatu, I drive, and another takes a flight..and we all get to the same destination..then the goal is, we all got there, right?

Okay...sure. Bigger picture.

But what about comfort?
What about time?
Are we all just going to pretend that doesn’t matter?

Then I remember laughing with a group of friends and saying:
Please do not confuse lack with humility.
Not once do stories go around of a partner saying their better half changed after getting more money.
'They changed to monsters'
And I’m like...give a man money, then you’ll know exactly who they are.

So does money change people’s character,
or does lack make them shrink who they are?

For my case,
Please, money...
I will change when you come and stay.
I will be a better person.

Because the lies I tell those debt collectors will fade🙆🏽‍♀️

Let’s not even discuss the good mood that will come from the comforts I can finally afford.

So yes,
People change.
You just choose which way.

So let me write my love letter to money.

Dear Money,

I want to appreciate you, and let you know that when you come over, I am overwhelmed with joy.
I enjoy every bit of you.

The way you sort me out.
The way you comfort me by ensuring my needs are taken care of.

The way you let me take that girlie out..and she says “thank you” and gives me a kiss, saying she loves me.

I know she does...
But in those moments, when you come through, her eyes light up with that irreplaceable smile.

The way I sleep soundly, knowing no one will knock on my door or call me with arrears allegations.

Maybe one day, we will understand each other better.
Not this chasing and leaving.
Btw...who lost you anyway?
How much were you?
Where were you?

Next time you come, do not rush.
Come like you mean it.
Stay a little longer.

But until then, 
I keep moving.